I feel sad today. I've been feeling sad many days. Missing him. I'm not sure why, but I feel like I need to move on and at the same time I mourn the relationship that I love so much. My emotions are right under the surface. I cry at the drop of a hat. I am no more lonely than I was when I was with him. But now I am alone. I was sure that if I left, things would change. I was sure that I wouldn't be lonely anymore because my calendar would fill up with all these people and things that would be so fun. Now, I home on the couch. Stuck. Alone. I don't want to go anywhere. I fear seeing him. I'm afraid he will be happier without me. They say time heals all wounds, this one seems to be getting deeper.