I feel sad today.  I've been feeling sad many days.  Missing him.  I'm not sure why, but I feel like I need to move on and at the same time I mourn the relationship that I love so much.  My emotions are right under the surface.  I cry at the drop of a hat.  I am no more lonely than I was when I was with him.  But now I am alone. 

I was sure that if I left, things would change.  I was sure that I wouldn't be lonely anymore because my calendar would fill up with all these people and things that would be so fun.  Now, I home on the couch.  Stuck.  Alone.  I don't want to go anywhere.  I fear seeing him.  I'm afraid he will be happier without me.  They say time heals all wounds, this one seems to be getting deeper.

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