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Showing posts from April, 2020

Let's talk about pain for a minute

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I fucked up the other day.  I forgot to take my medicine.  It was a busy day full of kids and adventure.  I thought about taking my meds a few times but it slipped my mind until after dinner.  It was like someone flipped a switch and I went from feeling okay to completely miserable.  It took me a day and a half to recover to okay again too!  Fuck! Since my injury, I've had ringing in my right ear.  So you have an idea of what that's like, it sounds like this .  It's at varying volumes and I'm rather used to it now, but I know I'm in trouble when it gets to be more pronounced in my head, and I can FEEL the intensity of the pitch.  It's kind of like electricity in my ear and feels like pop rocks.  The pop rocks weren't so bad this time.  Adding regular sounds on top of all these specatcular sounds is dreadful. This is my warning that my TN is about to get owly.  Here's an image of the nerves that cause my pain. While that...

one of those days

Yesterday was one of those days.  The days that come to remind you of past pain that you haven't dealt with yet.  Or maybe it's pain that you have been dealing with and you thought you'd dealt with it, but then someone says something and it all comes flooding back. I was reminded yesterday of the "best friend" I endured to be in my current relationship.  I knew all along that the relationship wasn't as innocent as it had been argued and argued and argued upon.  My gut doesn't steer me wrong too many times.  The last words that were spoken about it were, "you were right about XXXX" I shoud've clarified right there what that meant, but I guess I didn't catch it in the moment.  Right about what?  The entire scenario?  Oe just the part that she had no respect for me and wanted to be in my place?  I know there's no moving forward until I resolve it for myself. What a terrible feeling it was, when her name came up in conversation.  I ...
This Corona virus bullshit has really put a positive spin on my life.... our life.   We paid the bills!!  I'm going to file my income tax return today, and I will be able to catch up the house.  Unemployment money that good 'ol Donny is paying to Steven is dam near the same amount of money I was earning as Regional Manager for Burger King.  I can not tell you the amount of weight that has lifted off my shoulders. And. Cave Enterprises is failing!  Is it wrong of me that I'm getting a great deal of satisfaction from the fact that they are losing money at a rapid pace.  I hope that Ryan, and Adam are so stressed and anxious that they are kept up at night with worry.  I want to see Adam's full head of gray hair.  I imagine it happening. Those people deserve to pay for all of the anguish they put me through.  My mental health took a swan dive and none of the people that said they would take care of me did a damn thing.  T...

Quarantine mind games I play all alone

I really like to see how long I can stay away from the public during this lock-in.  Have you ever seen the show "Guy's Grocery Games"?  Object of the show is to make a high-end meal, but there's always a twist of some sort.  I like to play this game in my pantry!  Sometimes it's great, sometimes it doesn't work out.  Last night I made deconstructed egg rolls.   If you've never attempted to pan fry egg noodles in butter, you're missing out!  Yum! So there was that, and stir-fried cabbage with carrots,onions, and salt pork!  Holy fuck, so great! Steven said he'd vote me through to the next round. Ha!