He's all mine.
As I sat at soccer practice last night a thought crossed my mind. "I wonder what my life would be like if I didn't have to be here right now."
I then began fantasizing about quiting my job, packing my bags, and moving. Starting over. I could use a fresh start right about now. For a minute, I resented the force that holds me here. I was angry that I was the one that HAD to be there. At soccer. A Corona to celebrate Cinco de Mayo sounded better to me, but NO! I was at soccer! Before he came along, I did what I wanted. I didn't think about how my actions affected anyone, not even myself. I was reckless, irresponsible. Perhaps even wild.
Then came the guilt. He depends on me. He depends on me for everything. That's HUGE. Everything. I've created the life he lives. The life that makes him happy. I am the reason he is the person he is. Nobody else can say that. Nobody else has put in the hours I have. Nobody else has made these sacrifices for him. Most importantly, nobody will hold the place in his heart that I do. I feel honored.
Instead I celebrated Cinco de Mayo at Taco Bell with my son. There was no place I would have rather been, with no other person.
He will always be my number one man! I am honored to be his mother.
I then began fantasizing about quiting my job, packing my bags, and moving. Starting over. I could use a fresh start right about now. For a minute, I resented the force that holds me here. I was angry that I was the one that HAD to be there. At soccer. A Corona to celebrate Cinco de Mayo sounded better to me, but NO! I was at soccer! Before he came along, I did what I wanted. I didn't think about how my actions affected anyone, not even myself. I was reckless, irresponsible. Perhaps even wild.
Then came the guilt. He depends on me. He depends on me for everything. That's HUGE. Everything. I've created the life he lives. The life that makes him happy. I am the reason he is the person he is. Nobody else can say that. Nobody else has put in the hours I have. Nobody else has made these sacrifices for him. Most importantly, nobody will hold the place in his heart that I do. I feel honored.
Instead I celebrated Cinco de Mayo at Taco Bell with my son. There was no place I would have rather been, with no other person.
He will always be my number one man! I am honored to be his mother.
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