Alone

The last week has been difficult for me.  I feel alone, out of place, and sad.  I found out the other day that Greg is having another baby with his new girlfriend.  He's very excited and happy.  This revelation makes me sad for several reasons.  I'm sad for his kids, I'm sad for his ex.  I'm sad because I have come to the realization that we will never be together again.  It's not like I didn't already know this, but now it's definite.  There's no turning back.  Wrong for me or right, good for me or not, I will always love that man.  It's hard to comprehend that thought, it's really over.

I'm totally frustrated with the way things are in my love life.  I feel like the only men that are attracted to me are douche bags or already taken.  When I look back, it seems it's always been that way.  Why can't I find someone who is good for me and good to me?  I can't seem to figure out what I'm doing wrong.  It's got to be me.  So, I'm giving up.  I don't want to be loved if it means I have to compromise what's good for me.  I don't need it.  I'm better off alone.

Comments

  1. SereneJanuary 5, 2012 at 12:35 PM

    Im so sad that you have to go through all this. I know we were all I am woman hear me roar growing up, but I know we both wanted to fall in love, have someone to come home to at night, share our dreams and fears with - this isn't the way life was supposed to go for either of us. He's an idiot. But you know that. Because he let you slip away. Because he didn't appreciate the wonderful woman that you are. Because he went out looking for fun when he could have come home and had a beer with you and laugh with you, and it would have been perfect. Let her make her own bed. Live your life splendidly - its the best revenge.

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