Honesty

Hey there, friends!  It’s been a little bit since I’ve written.  I’ve been married, divorced, deceived, cheated, lied to and then there was a bumpy road that leads me to my current relationship.  He contains all of the qualities that I have listed on my list of non-negotiable traits.  Every.  Last.  One.  He’s also hides things from me, and has been deceiving me for the better part of a year.  He doesn’t know all of the things I’ve seen him do, or know all of the things I’ve seen.  That’s irrelevant.  He’s not honest with me.  I don’t know how to move forward if we can’t be honest.  What’s the fucking point?

Some times people are not honest because the truthful part of the situation might lead to feelings of rejection from the other party.  In this case, that’s probably the truth.

I haven’t felt the same since all the pieces came together 2 weeks ago.  I came home earlier than I had told him because I had suspicions feelings about snaps I was getting from him.  Sure as shit, I get here and that idiot whore friend of his was here.  He immediately was acting big and scary so I wouldn't start anything in front of the kids.  I wouldn’t anyway.

I’m adding honesty to that old list of non-negotiables, for I feel like a fool.

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