Love and Heartbreak

I don't know how it's possible to be in love with someone you barely know.  I've only known him for a month.  He's unavailable to me.  In a relationship. 

We've had a few encounters and our conversations were fun, playful, and intimate.  I can't get him out of my brain.  I think of a future with him.  I see myself happy with him.

It's so confusing and irrational.  Why is it that my rational brain and my heart are on such different wave-lengths about this?  I told him I didn't think we should be friends.  It's not what I want.  I want more than that.   I should be proud of myself.  Instead I am heartbroken.  I have missed him every day since. 

And why is that when you WANT to have a chance run-in with someone it doesn't happen.  Yet, when we don't want to see that person, they are everywhere.  I saw his girlfriend today.  It made me very angry.  I was wishing he was with her and glad that he wasn't all at the same time.

He could make my dreams come true.  That breaks my heart.

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